Unlock your fullest potential

There are epiphanies that we suddenly realize as we grow old. If we are to compare ourselves from who we were a year ago, five years ago, and ten years ago, we’d notice that we changed a lot because of our experiences. I find this constant process of discovery as an interesting journey. You have these expectations about who you are and who you will be and yet you surprise yourself that you have turned out different. As we tread these changes, I think the consistent theme in these different phases of our lives is, we can be at peace with where we are when we are making sure that we fully unlock every version of ourselves, and hopefully before our last breath, we can say that “I have exhausted everything, I did everything that I possibly could.” There will be no regrets nor what ifs.

The next question is, “How do you unlock your fullest potential?” I can only speak based on how I approach life and what I have learned overall, and that is by breaking it in to tiny, actionable steps. 

1. Make an irrevocable decision about the life that you want.
       When you know where you are going, there will be less mental burden about the decisions you’ll be making. Decide what kind of life you want, without any sort of guilt. Do you want to be a millionaire? Do you want to travel all over the world? Do you want to live a simple life on a hill or in the middle of a forest? Ask yourself this question everyday, “What do I really want?” and listen to your gut’s honest answer. Write it down. To be honest, I feel sad whenever I meet someone who is just wasting precious Earth time wandering aimlessly. We all have moments of uncertainties, but at some point, you have to choose your path. Ten years from now, what does a beautiful life look like to you. Make it as detailed as possible and then that’s it, that’s the life you want.

2. Schedule it. 
      If it’s not scheduled, it’s not getting done. This is just honest advice. If you keep on saying that I want to be financially successful, or have a family, or a car, and you’re just sitting there on the couch and praying to be abundant, I hate to break it to you, but it’s not happening. You have to put it in your calendar and make time for each step that will take you closer to the kind of life that you truly want. Start small. Take those baby steps which might seem insignificant at the moment. You’ll see that those tiny actions will accumulate and result to something great, something that only sheer hard work could ever do.

3. Eliminate anything that brings you down. 
      Are you spending so much time on social media? Do you have thought patterns or belief systems that aren’t helping you rise? Well then it’s time to let go of them. Turn your phone off when you have to focus and just concentrate on whatever task is at hand. Stay in the moment you are in. If it’s not making you a happier and better person, then let go of it. It could be a bad habit, or a dragging relationship, or even people who disguise themselves as friends. Choose your energy. Make sure that even if you plummet in to negativity a few times, you still take steps to keep yourself on a higher energy vibe.

4. Ask for help. 
      You are not an island. You belong to a species of organisms who need socializing. The news, COVID, financial setbacks, illnesses, they all are heavy to carry alone. The thing is, you don’t have to face every single one of them on your own. Ask for help. Be brave to humbly seek assistance whenever you need it. I can’t tell you how this simple step changed everything for me. I used to be the person who wants to prove that she doesn’t need any help from anyone. It’s pathological. This attitude has allowed me to be strong, independent, brave and extremely self-reliant, but it also made me a loner and somehow it closed my doors to opportunities and relationships that could have been good for me. Be self-reliant, but when you need help, please ask for it. 

5. Surround yourself with people who want to see you win. 
      Be careful who you spend most of your time with. If you just gossip, drink, or watch TV with your friends, I hate to break it to you, but you are not with the right people. If you want to become successful, you have to make sure that you are in an environment that will allow you to grow at the level that you want to. Talk about goals and how you are achieving them. Discuss ideas, passion, and creativity. Generate that energy of relentlessness. Assess if the people you are with want to see you win. Filipino culture taught us to value family, but sometimes extended family members can cause too much toxicity. You will get opinions you didn’t ask for or unwanted visits and demands. If that’s the case, stop complaining, save up, and move out. If they are not helping you, just get out of that negative space. You can’t possibly grow in a soil that isn’t capable of providing the nutrients that you need to achieve your highest potential.

6. Expect setbacks. 
      This is not a world of unicorns and rainbows. But I guess you already know that. Following your passion or chasing a dream can be equated to going through loopholes with fire on its outlines. It’s like running on a track with lanes with shards of glass or burning coal. It’s kind of morbid but there will be times when you will want to give up because it’s hard and painful. Circumstances will get out of control just when you think everything is okay. Expect setbacks, my love. There will be highs and lows but just hold on to hope. Keep the faith and know that nothing is permanent, even trials.

7. Have a go-to person. 
      To say that we have that one best friend is false in my opinion. I have a friend that I confide in depending on what I am going through. I hope you have these people. They will give you honest advice and a listening and non-judgmental ear. Having real friends is very comforting. They get you back to your senses when you are getting off track. They will patiently hold your hand when you are still healing. How do you have these people? Be a friend. Be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on for others, and when it’s your turn to be punched by the world, someone will always be there for you.

8. Come back stronger. 
      When setbacks happen and you feel like you can’t take another blow anymore, rest. Allow your body and your mind the time and space for recovery. Stop pushing when you know within yourself that you are mentally and physically exhausted. This time frame varies for every person. When you are already rested, roll up your sleeves and with courage, start again. You have learned the lessons, and now it’s time to use that wisdom in getting back up. Know that you are strong because you have gotten through the unthinkable. Nothing is impossible for someone who doesn’t have the phrase “give up” in their vocabulary. 

9. Give. 
      Having a generous heart will allow abundance to flow in your life. I have proven this repeatedly. Whenever I feel like there isn’t enough money or when I am scared, I give. It may be my time, or any form of help that I could give. Surprisingly, abundance follows when your heart is not guarded by the scarcity wall. Volunteer for an advocacy you believe in. Serve. Just give not because you want something in return but do it because it feels good to make others feel better.

10. Surrender. 

For me, life is 50% what happens to you and 50% of it will come from your actions. We can do so much with our precious 50%. When I wake up every morning, I do my best to keep things in order and accomplish the tasks that I need to do so that my dreams will come into fruition. But I also know that there will be circumstances and forces which are out of my control, and so when I pray I surrender that 50%. “No matter how this day goes, I will do my best and the Universe will do the rest for me.” It was hard for a control freak like me to utter the word “surrender.” However, I sleep better ever since I accepted that things will get out of control, schedules will get ruined, annoying people will pop up, but how I perceive these circumstances and my legwork is all that matters. Surrender your dream and each moment and eventually you’ll get there. 

100 Lessons Learned in 2020

As 2020 ends, a lot of realizations come to mind. It has been an admittedly chaotic year. All of us, to a certain degree, are traumatized. I wish I could say that I was on cloud nine but let’s be realistic. More than a million worldwide deaths due to a pandemic is heavy. In fact, I am in awe of how human beings can still handle everything, probably because we don’t have a choice, but, from the farthest corners of my heart, I am proud of all of us just for surviving. Here are the lessons I learned this year. I hope you create a list of your own too.


1. There is magic in spending time with family.
2. Despite the odds telling you that you can’t, you absolutely can.
3. Do not look for what isn’t there, appreciate and be grateful for what you have.
4. The love that is for you will not be forced, it will come as a surprise.
5. Make the first move.
6. Have a power passe.
7. It’s okay to not be okay.
8. Take life one moment at a time.
9. Get a pet.
10. Be mindful of what you consume (social media, news, tv).
11. Yoga does wonders.
12. Meditation will keep you sane.
13. This is not the time to be harsh on your body.
14. Listen to your mentors.
15. When you’re sad, watch Kdrama.
16. If you weren’t productive this year, it’s okay!
17. Quit coffee.
18. Write on your journal.
19. Keep writing on that gratitude list.
20. Watch more movies with your little brother.
21. Think twice or thrice before you post.
22. Stay true to your goals but be flexible with your methods.
23. Communication is key.
24. Everbody’s having a hard time, exude grace.
25. Stop overworking, nothing is more precious than your health and wellbeing.
26. When you’re feeling helpless, help someone.
27. Keep on doing your art.
28. Accept what is.
29. Feeling shitty? Take a bath.
30. Do the workout that is fun for you.
31. Spend time with nature.
32. Stop waiting, start doing.
33. The government, the economy, or any external situation won’t change. Do what’s good for you.
34. Social media is a myth.
35. Structure is key to pandemic anxiety.
36. Keep your study table sparkly and sacred.
37. Stop counting calories
38. Comparison is poison.
39. Honor your body.
40. Drink lots of water.
41. Make an effort to call your family.
42. Everything takes time, especially worthwhile things.
43. Alcoholic beverage is a no no.
44. It’s okay to not be the best.
45. Music is therapeutic.
46. The pain of loss will always be there, but you will learn to live with it.
47. Savor the present moment, you never know when it’s your last day.
48. Make time for your art.
49. You can adapt even in the worst of times.
50. Say I love you.
51. Give yourself a treat, watch netflix.
52. Meditate upon waking up instead of scrolling on your newsfeed.
53. Give yourself a self-care day.
54. Create a schedule.
55. Invest in a good planner.
56. Trust the process, even if the path isn’t clear.
57. You don’t need to follow every self-help guru.
58. Microsteps are powerful.
59. Invest in high-quality content books.
60. Cleaning relieves stress.
61. Just have three goals for the day.
62. Pause and breathe before you react.
63. Be kind to yourself.
64. Breathe.
65. Keep on learning.
66. Stick with the study methods that work for you.
67. Any negativity goes down the drain.
68. Talk about ideas, not people.
69. Focus on what you can control.
70. Are you feeling angry? Put your rage on a page.
71. Have a consistent sleeping schedule.
72. Spend time with nature.
73. You don’t need to add that item to your shoppee cart.
74. Eat less.
75. Learn from every person you encounter.
76. Understad another’s point of view before criticizing.
77. Stop the hate language.
78. Say goodbye to expectations.
79. Be the change you wish to see.
80. Wear your mask.
81. Engage with life. Don’t be passive.
82. Eat meals on time.
83. Prepare for the worst during a typhoon.
84. Recovery takes time.
85. Volunteer.
86. Stop keeping things that you don’t need. Give it away.
87. Honor your pain but don’t dwell.
88. Stay curious.
89. Pray.
90. Trust that the universe has your back.
91. Stop weighing yourself every damn day.
92. Do your best and fuck the rest.
93. A person’s rudeness is a reflection of their own pain. It’s never about you.
94. Maintain boundaries.
95. Unfollow any influencer that makes you feel shitty about your body.
96. Be patient.
97. Choose love.
98. Have faith.
99. Keep going.
100. Surrender.

A letter to my journal

I guess you really are my bestfriend. Whoever created words are people that I am deeply indebted too. Imagine a world without poems and songs. I just couldn’t. 

Somehow, words feel as if it’s art. It is a dialect that I’m comfortable in, my safe place, my cocoon. When things are exciting, it’s you, my journal, that I tell these stories too. And when I feel suffocated, it’s you that I turn to.

I am beyond grateful that I have you as my bestfriend, as my crying shoulder and my emotional sponge. I have you to thank for helping me cope with a world that moves too fast for a person with a fragile heart. I have you to thank for being my playground and avenue of creative expression. I thank you, my journal, for being the witness to all the highs and lows of being a human.

My mind cannot fathom how 23 characters can make intangible ideas and thoughts feel so real. It is beyond my understanding how typing on a keyboard or grabbing a pen and paper can give such a cathartic feeling. Writing to you my journal, is one of the most magical things that I am grateful that I can do in this era.

Thank you, my journal, for listening to my rants, for accepting my rage, and for acknowledging that I can have all these thoughts and be rough around the edges, and still be accepted. Thank you for giving me the space to write about the nightmares and for immortalizing the good stuff. You have gotten me through a lot and helped me survive when I was walking in the darkest tunnel. With you, I know that I am safe.

I wish more people would write. I wish more would get to see the beauty that pouring yourself on a page could bring. I wish more would be more reflective of their thoughts. I do believe that if more people write on you, journal, there will be a better generation of humans.

Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay.

I know what you desire. I know that there’s one thing that you want, that all of us wants. You want to be happy. I mean, who doesn’t want that? You want your heart to feel at ease. You want to exist in this world with that spark and that fire. You want to feel peace and security. You want that heart of yours to have a warm and fuzzy feeling.

But let me break this down for you love, just like every other pursuit that we have in our lives, happiness takes work. Happiness will not be consistent, because in order for life to be interesting, sadness must be felt. However, the probability of your heart feeling at ease increases when you do the work. Let’s say I’m your soul doctor, what will I prescribe you?

I can only think of one thing, and that is, stopping yourself from wanting everyone to like you. We grew up wanting to please our parents. Maybe you bend over backwards just to make your partner happy. You may even not express who you truly are for fear that you won’t be accepted by your family. Maybe you’re pursuing a career that your parents want for you but your heart is nudging you to do an entirely different thing. You may show people that you are strong, smart, and perfect and never want even a drop of weakness to spill. Or maybe you created a persona on social media that does not reflect your true self. You post all these glamorous photos, when the truth is, you are dying inside.

Maybe you live for the likes, the heart reacts, the compliments, or applause. You may be living for the titles so that people can admire you because you’re a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer. But let me ask you something, does the superficial world create a warm and fuzzy feeling that sustains you to wake up and do the work every single day? Do you feel like you are living a life filled with gratitude and meaning? Or are you just waking up, working, achieving, and posting?

In this short life, why not stop living for the likes, but rather live for the things that make your heart beat a little bit stronger? Why not live for the moments that you will remember before your last breath? You need to start really living, now. You need to be who you exactly are. Stop chasing dreams for the applause. Just do things because it gives you joy and it serves other people. Be honest with yourself and maybe then, you’ll find yourself breathing lightly, and smiling, not because of likes on Facebook, but because you genuinely adore the person that you see in the mirror.

Guide to getting unstuck

Hi reader, so far in the Philippines I do believe that we are stuck in a shit pickle, and a really deep one for that matter. You know that I am not a fan of toxic positivity. I am more of a girl who likes to know the real score and deal with it to the best of my abilities. Just like you, everyday I still wonder when is this ever going to end? When are we going to stroll on parks, beaches, or schools without the fear of getting COVID-19?

If you have been following my posts for the past years, I have an idea that you are someone who’s chasing your dreams too. And for us who find satisfaction in slaying goals and reaching for the stars, being this limited is the worst situation that we could find ourselves in. We like movement, we love the momentum, and the chase. We find an adrenaline rush in getting closer to our goals. But then here we are, stuck, literally and figuratively.

Let me try to make sense of it all through my favorite form of expression, writing. I think this is the opportunity to be our most creative and unlimited self. What we have now is the best resource out there, TIME. Here are my tried and tested list of things that you can do when you’re in a hell of a negative situation. Feel free to add up yours in the comments section.

1. Be realistic and be informed.
We need to educate ourselves. We need true information in order to move forward. Education has brought me to places that has created such an adventure in my life. I like to know the reality. I appreciate brutal honesty rather than sugar coating things. I might not like what someone is going to say but, it’s okay as long as it’s the truth. You can only assess objectively if you are well informed.

2. Acceptance of the present.
I think the secret in life is knowing when to let go of the steering wheel and when to take control. There are things that you can do to make sure that your plans will fall into place. And I very much believe that you have to take control of your physical, mental, financial, professional, and emotional well-being. You cannot let anything or anyone take your power. But, you have to accept that no matter how perfectly crafted your plans are and how you flawlessly executed your moves, there will be times when shit will just hit the fan. When that happens, as much as it sucks, you have to recognize that this is the reality, and accept. Because if you keep on ruminating for a long time, you might miss the growth opportunities that the current situation presents.

3. Acknowledge your feelings.
As I’ve mentioned, you have to accept the present. I know what probably runs in your mind, that it’s easily said than done. Please understand that you must accept the present but you also have to acknowledge your feelings. Give yourself time to grieve the situation. Fully express your sadness, anger, or disappointment through calling a friend or by talking to your family or your partner. You can express your rage through art or writing. You can run or shout on top of a hill. But you have to feel and express your emotions. Don’t bottle it up or it will be your life’s poison. Feelings are meant to be expressed and not repressed. Okay?

4. Do something that brings you joy.
Once you have let all the feels bleed out, you now have space for joy. Think about the activities that make your heart feel a little bit lighter. For me, it’s writing or listening to Cardi B. I also love singing, dancing and coloring. Keep a running list of things that make your heart sing. Open your heart to joy. Tuck it in and keep it close. Have a list of these sanity pills and take them. They will heal you and open your mind to creative solutions to your challenges.

5. Access your body’s intelligence.
You know what causes too much thinking and mental exhaustion? It’s when you’re not channeling mental energy through your body. Do some workout, my friend. Stop being a couch potato. The poison loves it when you don’t move. Your blood and energy has to flow. Let it reach every corner of your organs. I do nike training club during not so busy days in the morning and when I am really stuck in the deepest puddle of shit, yoga is my saving grace. It fixes your breathing and keeps you present.

6. Sleep.
Recovery is an important part of the healing process. Give your brain the rest that it needs. Let your subconscious handle the complexities of the situation. Some of the best ideas and solutions pop up early in the morning. It’s because your brain is well rested and fully oxygenated. Remember that you can only be truly empowered if your machine is well-oiled. So love yourself and let your thoughts rest. Let it go.

7. Have a morning routine.
By sticking to a morning practice, you will have a foundation that you can always go back to. No matter how crappy the previous day has been, your morning routine will serve as your refresh button. I do encourage you to make it a habit. Whether it’s drinking coffee in the morning, declaring affirmations, or prayer, just do it. Make your mind a healthy garden for trees of positivity and creativity to grow.

8. Be decisive.
Stop thinking. Just engage and co-create the life that you want with the universe. Stop spending so much time in your mind because it’s so easy to drown in the negativity sinkhole. As Nike says, just do it.

9.Practice self-forgiveness.
I do believe that you should talk to yourself the way that you will talk to your little sister or your daughter. We are humans who are just imperfect. We make mistakes and do stupid things. Be that as it may, it is our job to be kind and forgiving to ourselves especially when we fall short of being the person we expect ourselves to be. When negative thoughts swarm in my head, my tendency is to be really hard on myself, and I admit that I am still a work in progress when it comes to this area of life. But I know that I have to try practicing radical self-love and self-forgiveness so that I can be truly free.

10. Be patient.
Great things take time. Sometimes we’re too anxious to get to the finish line, so much so that we don’t even notice how beautiful the journey is. Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes it’s easier to say I give up. But if you can find the beauty in crashing and then rising, I think you’re good to go. Be willing to wait and be patient with your process. Everybody has their unique path. You just have to focus on yours because no one can ever do the great job of being you. Respect how sacred your journey is. Love it wih every fiber of your being. Ready, set, go.

My Philippines

When I moved to Thailand,  the first thing I found really cool was that the street dogs here are so fat and cute. I couldn’t believe they were street dogs because in the Philippines, street dogs are so skinny and they fight a lot. Another thing that I noticed was even if we don’t lock our office, nothing ever gets stolen. I was also curious why strangers are kind enough to help me here especially when I get lost, all the time. I get so curious why I see this everywhere in Thailand but sadly back in the Philippines, kindness in that form is like a rare piece of gem.

The way I saw things back home was like everybody has an ulterior motive. Many people do anything for money. Family members fight each other. A lot of politicians get everything that they can from the people. Some people borrow money and they don’t pay you back (a lot of times actually). People like making snarky comments and love arguments. Kindness and compassion is perceived as weakness. A need for control is present anywhere you go. And it seems like many Filipinos lost their soul, their humanity. For a country dominated by Christians, it truly breaks my heart.

I kept on looking for answers. How can Filipinos change? What happened to our race that we became this screwed up people? How do we make love and compassion come alive again? How do we solve our tons of problems, individually so that it becomes so infectious that there will be a shift in our state of consciousness as a nation?

My Philippine History professor taught us about the root of all of this mess. Knowing that information,  it got me thinking why things are so messed up. We’re a country that has undergone war after war. We were always in survival mode. We almost had no rest. And amazingly, how did we survive from oppression from the Spanish, American, and Japanese?

Of course, when your brain is in survival mode, what is behind your actions? FEAR.

Biologically speaking, we evolved to survive. We need to adapt to the changes in our environment so that our DNA will survive. So that we won’t perish. The drive for survival, in the case of Filipinos is so intense because foreigners were invading us, trying to change us, and if we don’t do what is necessary, we die. So naturally, that’s the cause of all that is happening. Ever since, we were a race driven by fear. That negative collective energy of war, death, and violence for a long time is still engraved in our DNA.

We got that DNA from our ancestors. So our instinct is to behave with fear whispering our next actions at the back of our mind. Fear driven actions created the fiasco that is in the Philippines.  This got Filipinos thinking that the cake isn’t big enough for everyone. So everybody is doing whatever they can to get a piece, and even more because we were so used to our resources running out. Survival mode.

Several leaders are pushing for death penalty. But will death penalty change the state of our country? Yes, it will change the statistics, for now, I have no doubt. I even believe that things will improve within our President’s term.

But for every person killed, there will be a negative ramification. Maybe we won’t see it in our lifetime, but every action has an equal and opposite reaction. And if we’re thinking of long term solutions, that is not the way to go. Because it only cures the symptoms, but not the real cause.

Acting out of fear is the Filipino norm. Sometimes my friends and I would engage in a discourse about our country. We kept on thinking about why is it like this. From an intellectual perspective, there seems to be no logical solution at all. Another dictatorship would also collapse our nation. So what are we supposed to do if we want long lasting change that can save our nation and at the same time provide a safe and peaceful environment for the next generation of Filipinos?

We have to accept first that the rowdy, argumentative attitude is our current identity. Maybe you’ll think, what? I should just accept that? What I mean by acceptance is, knowing the reality and not resisting it. So it’s a fiasco, accept. You need to accept that, that is us, FOR NOW. Any form of resistance creates another negative energy that will fuel negative circumstances. Our country is poor, accept. People are unfair, accept. Right at this very moment that you are reading this, accept what is. Because, that is the only thing that can give you peace right now.

Acceptance will release the cloud of negativity inside your head. When you remove the resistance, ideas flow. And that’s what  we need, ideas. We don’t need more arguments because we already have tons of that. We need creative, long-lasting, and transcending actions if we want to make any change that is of impact.

Once that you let go of resistance, which, by the way takes a lot of practice, things will be in flow. You will notice changes in you and the people surrounding you. You will not be affected by negativity, or if you were, then you know that you can come back to that place of accepting the present. That’s all you have to care about, the present.

From that place of acceptance, you can act. When you have accepted that for now, this is how things are, you will have clarity for your next actions towards that vision that you want for our country. Those little actions are the vital ones. We don’t see its instant impact but as time goes by, it adds up.

If our actions were once driven by fear, then shift it to love. Do things out of love. Try it and you’ll see what I am saying. When love is the foundation of your life, you can’t go wrong. Anything that is done out of love circumvents. Any love that you put out in this world will create a miracle.

I was once too engorged with watching news. I would get into arguments with my friends because I have to be right. But this did not give me any peace of mind, so now, I watch less TV. I still read news but not to the point of wasting time in it. Take control of what you can in your life. Be more present in your life and be the light in the circle of people that you influence.

Act on the creative ideas that you have. Don’t just laze around and wait for the government to solve your problems. Do something. Get a job, write, make your art, be the person you want Filipinos to be. Express yourself in the most uplifting way as possible. Follow your bliss and do what is right no matter what the other people say, and no matter what is the norm.

Let us refuse to accept that being overly critical is all that we can be. For every criticism that you are pointing out, make sure that you are also promoting an action that solves the problem. And please, stop adding up to the haters on the internet. We are still a bunch of people who are finding their way towards progress, and we have to understand that we need to undergo this madness first before our race truly awakens.

I have met a lot of amazing Filipinos outside our country. There are many who have such a big heart for helping. Because of them, I have so much hope. I pray that this attitude of kindness and compassion becomes viral. Maybe we’ve been so clouded with the ulterior motive behind every ego-driven leader that controls our country, but hey, this is your life. Take charge of it. You don’t need power to get what you want. You just have to radiate your authentic self to whoever you meet and trust with the ripple effect of that kindness.  Accept the now and act on the future that you want.

If we do this, things will change. If you made a difference to even just one person, that is enough. But to a lot more? That is phenomenal.

I know that someday, probably when I’m an old lady I’ll also see that in my country, people are feeding stray dogs, kindness is the norm, and compassion is the new trending. I’ll work on that every day even with the little sphere of influence that I have. I hope you do too.